New Roomie, New Blog

Reasons Why I Love Living With GS:

#1: He just knocked on my door and asked "would you happen to want some cheese?" The answer to this question is ALWAYS yes.

Kmart

I was walking around Kmart the other day looking for a combination lock in the sports section (which does not contain the locks- they are apparently in hardware) when I came upon some tennis balls. My mind flashed to all of the fun DK and I could have playing tennis if I bought them as I had enjoyed coaching him on how to throw a frisbee and baseball (a baseball being a tennis ball in this situation). Then I remembered that he moved out and doesn't live here right now so I would not be able to do those things and I was sad.

Glass

Last weekend I went away and forgot my window open because I was running to catch a train. Unfortunately, there was a lot of wind that weekend. When I got back, I found a dishtowel on my door's knob (this was confusing since something on the doorknob is a pretty universal symbol for being sexiled and I wondered who would be having sex in my bedroom in my absence, especially when the only two people in the apartment at the time were DK and his mom). The dishtowel was to warn me of the shattered glass from a framed poster that had fallen.

I was talking to DK after and mentioned my poster. He reprimanded me for not telling him that there was glass on my floor since he had walked into my room and stepped on it and gotten some in his foot. I told him that I did not know that there was broken glass on my floor. He said he thought I knew there was broken glass in my room but just hadn't cleaned it up yet. I asked him why anyone would leave broken glass in their room and choose not to clean it up but then I remembered who was on the other end of the conversation.

The second

I found DK faceplanted on our roommate's bed in only his boxers again. It was around 7 PM and he had just gotten out of the shower (there was a towel around his shoulders). There is nothing wrong with the AC in his room but our new roommate, Aisha, has already moved into DK's room so we are playing musical rooms for a few days. DK moves out on Thursday.

Our other roommate is in India. I just found DK faceplanted on her bed, asleep in a textbook. He says the AC in his room is broken.

Cleaning out the fridge

I cleaned out the fridge this weekend. Among the many moldy and otherwise disgusting things in there, many belonging to DK (although none of us were guiltless), my favorite item was one quarter of a bitten off hot dog inside two plastic bags.

Sunday

DK was putting dirty utensils in the dishwasher after I asked him to after I had done the rest of the dishes. He was cleaning the sink and wiping it with a towel, wetting the towel with the water, and then wiping it. I asked him why he didn't use the spray nozzle on the sink. He didn't know what it was. I showed him the spray tool and he said oh and cleaned the sink easily with it.

Then I sat down on the couch and found the second piece of used-looking toilet paper on the couch today.

toilet paper

DK bought moldy toilet paper.

Party in his pants?

DK was in his room with the door closed watching Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA on YouTube.

Finger

DK microwaved some Indian food with rice. I walked into the kitchen to find him repeatedly sticking his finger in it. Not sticking his finger in it and eating it with his hands. Just sticking one finger in it and moving it around slightly over and over.

Cinderella

The other day, Erika pointed out a yellow wad of toilet paper that she said had been on the floor for a while. Erika approached DK about it and explained to him that women do not stand when we pee so we would never miss and so we wondered why there was a pee stained bit of paper on the floor. DK promptly cleaned the bathroom.

outside

I was walking outside our building and looking at the windows to our apartment, identifying which rooms belonged to which roommate. I saw DK's and the blinds were kind of weird so you could still see a lot of light coming from the room.

Later I got home and saw DK. I told him I saw his room and there was this space where you could see into the room and I wondered if he was masturbating.

He said, in a timid voice, "did you see me?"

High brow

DK asked Erika if she could pluck his eyebrows. She did.

You make bathtime so much fun...

DK took a bath and left the water in the tub.

Holiday Weekend

DK: If you went home and I had the apartment to myself, I would walk around naked and masturbate on your bed.

haircut

DK to female roommate: I trimmed my testicle hair.

Knife

DK was making taquitos. He took them out of the microwave and started cutting so they would cook faster. He was cutting them with a fork and it was not working so well. Erika said why are you cutting them with a fork you should use a knife. I gave him one of my big special cutting knives. The taquitos wouldn't cut. He said your knives aren't working. I said DK you are using the wrong side of the knife. He said "oh" and turned the knife over and cut the taquitos with the sharp edge.

Shoot

Last semester DK took a production sound class. On a shoot, he held the boom upside down.

DK on death

DK: I want to die before I'm old. I want to die before 70. When I'm 60 I'll get cancer. But I won't treat it. I'll just do a bunch of dangerous stuff until I die.

Butter

I was going to use some of DK's butter for my edamame. It was empty.

drunk

Last night DK came home drunk. He was telling us about how his girlfriend's friends are older than he is and he does "not like people who are older because they are closer to death."

Toilet

Last night I brushed my teeth, washed my face and went to the bathroom before going to bed. Everything was normal. This morning I woke up and the toilet filled up and was obviously clogged. DK was the only other one in the apartment.

After trying to fix the toliet, I called a plumber. This was at around 11 AM. I called for a plumber and was told someone would be by between now and 2 PM. I knocked on DK's door and woke him up: DK, I don't know how but the toilet is clogged, etc, a plumber is coming between now and 2, please be awake and answer the door and let him in so we can pee. He said he would be home and would open the door.

A few hours later, I got a voicemail that a plumber had attempted to fix our toilet but there was nobody there so we would have to reschedule.

Stain

DK was standing in the kitchen. There was a stain on his crotch. I said DK, there is a spot on your crotch. He looked down and said "I guess I peed a little."

Bathroom

In our bathroom we found a lone cheerio under the toilet and the seat found on milk or orange juice, meaning DK eats cherrios and not only drinks out of glasses, but also out of the cartons, while in the bathroom.