Butter

I was going to use some of DK's butter for my edamame. It was empty.

drunk

Last night DK came home drunk. He was telling us about how his girlfriend's friends are older than he is and he does "not like people who are older because they are closer to death."

Toilet

Last night I brushed my teeth, washed my face and went to the bathroom before going to bed. Everything was normal. This morning I woke up and the toilet filled up and was obviously clogged. DK was the only other one in the apartment.

After trying to fix the toliet, I called a plumber. This was at around 11 AM. I called for a plumber and was told someone would be by between now and 2 PM. I knocked on DK's door and woke him up: DK, I don't know how but the toilet is clogged, etc, a plumber is coming between now and 2, please be awake and answer the door and let him in so we can pee. He said he would be home and would open the door.

A few hours later, I got a voicemail that a plumber had attempted to fix our toilet but there was nobody there so we would have to reschedule.

Stain

DK was standing in the kitchen. There was a stain on his crotch. I said DK, there is a spot on your crotch. He looked down and said "I guess I peed a little."

Bathroom

In our bathroom we found a lone cheerio under the toilet and the seat found on milk or orange juice, meaning DK eats cherrios and not only drinks out of glasses, but also out of the cartons, while in the bathroom.